Woah Bomb

What do you do when Devansh throws a hand grenade at you?


Pull the pin and throw it back.




What do you do when Devansh throws a pin at you?

Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Dead bird

Sid - Devansh woh dekh marri hui bird.

Devansh looking upwards - Kidhar ??? Kiddhaar???

Fact hai ji !!!

Akshat doesn't know what is lie.
Vikas doesn't know what is truth.



Devansh doesn't know the difference.

Car My Car

Devansh wanted to sell his old car which had traveled 1 Lakh Kms.
Everyone rejected the car.

He approached Ravi for help.

Ravi - 1 Lakh ki jagah 30,000 Kms kar de.

After a month, Ravi asked Devansh about  the car.


Devansh - Abe Pagal ho aya hai kya, koi admi gadha hi hoga jo uss gadi ko bechega jo 30000 kms hi chali hai

  

Cheaterrr

Once Devansh and Shaleen were giving a test.

Both of them got 9 question right out of 10.
After looking at both of the papers.

Teacher - We'll chose Shaleen as Headboy.

Devansh -Par hum dono ke 9 question right hain.

Teacher - Haan, par shaleen ko jo ques. nhi aata usne likha hai - NEITHER.
aur tumne likha hai - NEITHER DO I.

Sleeplesss

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights.
Devansh was also experiencing the same every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." 
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. 
Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. 
He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. 


Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling into deep sleep in his hands. 


So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

Smuggleeer

Once Devansh was crossing border with his bike,

Chintan(the guard of the area) came and said --- Bag mein kya hai.
Devansh - Sand hai.

Chintan's guard came and checked the bag and got them analysed.

Chintan - Isme me to mitti hi hai. Inko torture kar ke saach bulwao.

They were tortured and finally they were sent home.

This happened for 3 yrs. But one day Devansh didn't show up.

Chintan met him at a bar and asked him - Oye, mujhe pata hai tu smuggling karta hai par kis cheez ki yeh tu bta de main kisi ko nhi bataunga pakka.

Devansh - Bikes.

Wanna Play A Game

Once Devansh asks Swapnil to play a game.

Swapnil - Yeah, Ok.

Devansh - The rules are like this, I will ask you any question and if you can't answer it you will pay me Rs.50

Swapnil - No, no.

Devansh - Well, if I can't answer your question then I will pay you Rs. 500.

Swapnil - Woah!! Okk.

Devansh - You go first.

Swapnil - What goes up a hill wit two legs and comes with three legs.

Devansh searches for the answer in internet but couldn't find the answer so he gave Swapnil the price 

money.

Devansh asks Swapnil the same question.

Swapnil- Here's Your Rs. 50.

 

Interview

Devansh sent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft. A few days later he got this reply:- Dear Mr. Devansh, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks

Devansh jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki mujhay america mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted. Devansh continued Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter english main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee kartaa jaongaa.

Dear Mr. Devansh-----pyare devansh sahab

You do not meet----aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement----humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance----ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.

No phone call ----phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained----bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya

Brainiac

Devansh died of brain tumour because of trying to solve 1 question again and again:


"If my sister has 2 brothers,then how come I have only 1 brother?"

Quote

Devansh's Quote ------- Repulsion is our business, and business is good.

Hukum

Devansh: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.

Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Manvendra: Garam pani Q?

Devansh: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

Kuttee

Wife: Why are you waiting here?

Devansh: Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon mere darling!

Wife: Toh jao naa khade kyu ho!

Devansh: Kaise jaau.. Bahar kutta  khade hai!

Bar

Devansh went to a bar.

Man on his right said to bartender - Johny Walker , Single.

Another Man on his left said to bartender - Peter Scotch , Single


Devansh---------- Devansh Sharma, It's Complicated..

Accident

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!


Devansh: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Bomb

Devansh and Manvendra were fixing a bomb in a car.


Manvendra: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.


Devansh: Don't worry, I have one more.

Devansh - garment dealer

Once Devansh was the owner of a clothes shop.

A man came inside , and said "Underwear dikhana".

Devansh "Sorry yaar aaj pehni nhi "

Donation

Devansh's Son - Papa, koi admi swimming pool ke liye donation maang rha hai.

Devansh --------- Use Ek lota pani de de..

New Logic

Once Akshat saw devansh digging a hole and manvendra immediately filling it.

He went there and asked devansh - Abe yeh kya kar rhe hai ?? 

Devansh - Waise hum teen log hain, main ghadda ghodta hun aur dev ped dalta hai phir manvendra usko          bharta hai , par aaj dev ki tabyet kharab thi toh......

Devansh - The Teacher

When Devansh Became the teacher ..... here's how he communicate with his students

# Inside the Class :
----------------
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class .. )
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today ...
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length....

# About his family :
----------------
* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)

# At the ground :
-------------
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.

# To a boy, angrily :
-----------------
* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?

# Giving a punishment :
-------------------
* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)

# Sir at his best :
---------------
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school... ( to that boy ) - " Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre

Checking

Devansh ne apne bete Ki Talashi Li, Jaib Se , Cigrette, Gutka, Naswar Katrina Kaif Ki Tasaweer Aur Girls K Numbers Baramad Hoye Devansh Ne bete Ko Bahau Mara Aor Gusse Me Cheekha: "Kab Se Kar Rahay Ho Ye Sab Kuch? Beta Rotay Hoye: "Papa Main Ne To Ap Ki Jacket Pehni Hui Hai..!" :-)}

Propose

12 Boys planed to propose a girl

10 came with a rose..


But 1 came with a ring – Thats confidence



...But Devansh......


Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!

Menace

Once upon a time a man had an accident in front of devansh's house.

Later the police came and talked about the man with devansh.

Police - Yeh admi kaise mara??

Devansh - Woh mere ghar mein aya aur mere gamle se takra kar gir gaya.

Police - Acha toh woh aise mara ??

Devansh - Nahi, woh andar aya aur thodi der baad use lamp se shock laga.

Police - Accha toh woh aise mara ??

Devansh - Nahi, woh mere ghar ki stairs par chad rha tha phir stairs tuti aur woh wahan se gir gaya.

Police - Ohh, toh woh aise mara ??

Devansh - Nahi, saale ko maine goli se uda diya. Kamina mera ghar kharab kar rha tha.

Result

Devansh's Father - Tera result kaisa tha.

Devansh              - Principal ka beta fail ho gaya.

Father                 - Aur Tu ??

Devansh              - Doctor aur scientist ka beta fail ho gaya.

Father                 - Aur Tu ??

Devansh              - Aap kaunsa Prime Minister ho. Apka beta bhi fail ho gaya.