Hukum

Devansh: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.

Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Manvendra: Garam pani Q?

Devansh: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

Kuttee

Wife: Why are you waiting here?

Devansh: Sher ka shikar karne ja raha hoon mere darling!

Wife: Toh jao naa khade kyu ho!

Devansh: Kaise jaau.. Bahar kutta  khade hai!

Bar

Devansh went to a bar.

Man on his right said to bartender - Johny Walker , Single.

Another Man on his left said to bartender - Peter Scotch , Single


Devansh---------- Devansh Sharma, It's Complicated..

Accident

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!


Devansh: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Bomb

Devansh and Manvendra were fixing a bomb in a car.


Manvendra: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.


Devansh: Don't worry, I have one more.

Devansh - garment dealer

Once Devansh was the owner of a clothes shop.

A man came inside , and said "Underwear dikhana".

Devansh "Sorry yaar aaj pehni nhi "

Donation

Devansh's Son - Papa, koi admi swimming pool ke liye donation maang rha hai.

Devansh --------- Use Ek lota pani de de..

New Logic

Once Akshat saw devansh digging a hole and manvendra immediately filling it.

He went there and asked devansh - Abe yeh kya kar rhe hai ?? 

Devansh - Waise hum teen log hain, main ghadda ghodta hun aur dev ped dalta hai phir manvendra usko          bharta hai , par aaj dev ki tabyet kharab thi toh......

Devansh - The Teacher

When Devansh Became the teacher ..... here's how he communicate with his students

# Inside the Class :
----------------
* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class .. )
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today ...
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length....

# About his family :
----------------
* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)

# At the ground :
-------------
* All of you, stand in a straight circle.
* There is no wind in the balloon.

# To a boy, angrily :
-----------------
* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?

# Giving a punishment :
-------------------
* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)

# Sir at his best :
---------------
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school... ( to that boy ) - " Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre

Checking

Devansh ne apne bete Ki Talashi Li, Jaib Se , Cigrette, Gutka, Naswar Katrina Kaif Ki Tasaweer Aur Girls K Numbers Baramad Hoye Devansh Ne bete Ko Bahau Mara Aor Gusse Me Cheekha: "Kab Se Kar Rahay Ho Ye Sab Kuch? Beta Rotay Hoye: "Papa Main Ne To Ap Ki Jacket Pehni Hui Hai..!" :-)}

Propose

12 Boys planed to propose a girl

10 came with a rose..


But 1 came with a ring – Thats confidence



...But Devansh......


Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!

Menace

Once upon a time a man had an accident in front of devansh's house.

Later the police came and talked about the man with devansh.

Police - Yeh admi kaise mara??

Devansh - Woh mere ghar mein aya aur mere gamle se takra kar gir gaya.

Police - Acha toh woh aise mara ??

Devansh - Nahi, woh andar aya aur thodi der baad use lamp se shock laga.

Police - Accha toh woh aise mara ??

Devansh - Nahi, woh mere ghar ki stairs par chad rha tha phir stairs tuti aur woh wahan se gir gaya.

Police - Ohh, toh woh aise mara ??

Devansh - Nahi, saale ko maine goli se uda diya. Kamina mera ghar kharab kar rha tha.

Result

Devansh's Father - Tera result kaisa tha.

Devansh              - Principal ka beta fail ho gaya.

Father                 - Aur Tu ??

Devansh              - Doctor aur scientist ka beta fail ho gaya.

Father                 - Aur Tu ??

Devansh              - Aap kaunsa Prime Minister ho. Apka beta bhi fail ho gaya.